I think I know what's wrong with me I'm waiting. I'm waiting for the right moment to start. To start working for my dream. To start college again. To start moving again. To start eating right. To start sleeping right. To start living. I am waiting for the world to get better. That feels impossible though. The higher society is full of pedophiles, cannibals, cultists, and evil people. I'm not religious, but at this point I think evil incarnate is real and it's behind the faces of those men. I'm waiting for a moment. A moment of peace. A moment of opportunity. I feel like Oroboros- every time I grow, I end up destroying the same amount. Or maybe it's the other way around. Maybe it doesn't matter. At the end of the day, I think I'm waiting for the end. I'm waiting for the end to my suffering. Be it by the world blossoming or by my own hands. I'm starting to believe in the latter again. Even if I want to live, I keep imagining the release. It won't be sweet, but it will be kinder.