every other people my age are just having fun with their friends, going to parties and having friendgroups when I spent all my teenage years just staying inside my room and surviving. I mean it wasn't always like that, but I messed things up and now I have to witness everyone having fun while I'm alone, can't stand social interactions and even going outside is hard. High school was fun when I had my friend group there, but it collapsed and then the other half of it was not cool. And now I can't meet new people cause I'm scared of whatever, so I'll spend the next 3 years in college if not more alone not talking to anyone. I'm such a loser, even the 'losers' look down on me being like "he's such a loser". I'm too weird for the normal and too weird for the weird like dude what is that? I CAN'T TALK TO PEOPLE, I'm just a fckin autistic kid with ocd staying in his room complaining and doing nothing. That's heavy loser behavior