I try to act "normal" but people always figure out that I'm "different". Even online, it's hard to mask my identity. On Reddit I thought I hid my post/comment history, I asked a normal question in my city's subreddit, and someone dug through my posts and called me, quote, "extremely on the spectrum" and got a bunch of upvotes. In real life, I look normal and somewhat attractive, and this makes people be warm and open at first. But then they see that my smile is off, I can't make jokes, and I never know what to say if there isn't a topic. They slowly drift away and I always end up alone. At my job people started bullying me to my face after a few months, because they know I can't fight back. I spend a LOT of money on nice clothes, I study people in movies to see how they act, I've read a lot of social skills/self improvement over the past 9 years (been a big interest since 6th grade).... but nothing works. Everyone figures out I'm different, and it makes me deeply sad and VERY ashamed.