I hate myself so much. I don't like the way I look, I don't like the way I talk, I don't like the way I act, I don't like anything about me. it's one of the reasons I started doing sh. I thought I deserved to hurt. now it became an addition. sometimes I don't even know why I do it, I just wanna feel something. but whenever I do it, I feel like I'm seeking attention even though I never showed anyone fresh cuts. many of my friends know I used to struggle with sh but they don't know I still do it. they've seen the old scars on my arms but fortunately they don't point them out. I love my friends. they're the reason I haven't committed suicide, the reason I'm still here. I'm aware that I need help but tbh I don't think my parents will understand, since my relationship with them isn't the best. my dad barely talks to me and my mom just hates me. she tells me that my personality is shitty and that I'm gonna lose my friends etc. (btw English isn't my first language so idk if It makes sense)