I’ve got no clue what to say anymore. I left a vent here around a month or so ago, and I can’t believe I’ve come back to spew the same bullshit. I can never have anything. When I feel like it’s getting better, it feels like the hole I’ve dug for myself only becomes deeper. I think too much, is my problem. I think too fucking much and worry myself half to death trying to be the perfect person everyone wanted me to be. They want me to be their gifted golden kid again, they want me to be the one who serves, and whatnot. I love being there to help don’t get me wrong. I love the fact that people trust me to unload all their worries and whatnot. But what about me? I’ve been living like this for over a decade and I’m only 17. I just want to be loved too. I want someone to accept me the way I accept everyone else. To acknowledge me. Something is seriously wrong with me, but I’m the only one that cares enough to grieve. Nobody cares enough to help me. I’m so close to just giving up on it all.