Anonymous
I am in a slump. I can't make myself be disciplined. I can't even imagine myself being disciplined. I have been struggling with loss of memory, attention deficiency and low self-esteem. I have been trying understand and get past it by trying to write about it, watch videos, articles, read books but end up not solving it and getting stuck and frustrated. So, I end up playing games or doomscrolling social media.
Anonymous
I am so goddamn jealous of those without the weight of mental illness. Those who see the world through a lens of clean glasses, those with the capacity to believe that one day after the other will bring them some sort of happiness. I look around at my relationships with Hazel and Harper, and I am so goddamn jealous of it. Why is it so natural for them to just talk to one another? Why can it not be with me? I need to feel validated. She is not picking up my texts, how rude. What a fucking bitch. She will pick up for anyone in an instant, but nooo, not me. Prickly bitch. I hate her, stupid cunt. I wish she would die. I need that innocence, that connection. I am so tired of the desperation. I need to be kind to myself, and realize that maybe she just doesn't want to be my friend like that. That hurts like shit, just please tell me so I can bear it a little better. Its not my fault that she treats me like this. I guess I will be just fine. I need to focus on myself. Only myself. Love me.