I genuinely have no idea what I'm doing with my life rn. I was trying to change for the better, not the gullible and naive girl from years ago whose safe space is only herself. Now, I try to fit in with everyone actively every day, but I still feel the shame. The judgement behind my back; they all whisper things about me. It's just so fucking stupid. Why the hell did I even think they're suddenly going to change for a year. I tried to be good towards others only to be taken for granted and when I try to build my wall, i get called "selfish"? Seriously? Why the fuck are all of you choose to judge others and insult them rather than making them feel comfortable and believe in themselves more? You fucking piece of shits. I'm so fucking tired of everyone's hypocritical bullshit. My mother says she "loves" me but she's the first to blame me when things go wrong. All of you just LOVE to blame other people when something bad happens. Man idk anymore.