I'm frustrated with my inability to study effectively and my arrogance when it comes to approaching tests. I always get predictably worse grades whenever I don't study and I *never do anything about it.* It's not that I'm incapable of studying - I can - it's just that trying to be even remotely productive at home is a herculean task to me. It's like there's a giant wall that's been erected in my brain that prevents me from doing important tasks; even simple chores are stupidly difficult for me. What gives?! Every time I fail because of my self-sabotage I repeatedly feel shocked even though it should have been expected. I am completely incompetent yet so goddamn arrogant for thinking that I can cruise through courses without studying like my 'ungifted' peers. Ugh, even in writing my sounds so fucking pretentious.