I've taken on a new role in my life to be one of the primary fundraisers for a non profit. It's not what I thought it was going to be. Can I grow and learn? Sure can. But it's not what I was thriving in doing. I mentally balance that this will change. But I haven't been having the success I wanted. It made me realize how my self view or outlook of myself was tied to my ability to do a good job. Not out of performance, but in that default programming of the limbic system rewarding ourselves with dopamine when we know we have done a good job or had success. I'm missing that in my life. My family and I are also trying to relocate across the country for this job and my spouse is joining the team. The real estate market has taken a nose dive because of many factors. But it has been mentally taxing. I've just had a long string of disappointments. I know I'm coating my appearance with false stability to move forward. I don't want a trial, I want action and answers.