i dont understand my mother sometimes she seems to want to have a connection with me yet everytime i come home from my aunts house she starts comparing me to the stats my aunt gives her and getting mad at me for "loosening" and having more time to rest today i came home from school at 5 in the evening had dinner and went home before taking a 30-45m nap after my shower only to be met with eyes that scrutinized my very existence and lips that wouldnt admit either and to be honest what sucks is that i DO want to be close with her, to enjoy the sweet feeling of having a mother you're close to or to even maybe be just a BIT like how she is with my sister they laugh and joke and have fun together and i always seem like the black sheep the odd one out i just need a nap im tired seems to translate to i dont plan on changing i plan on failing all my exams and yesterday i had been up late revising for my tests today which i even did well on i just wish i was extended more compassion more love