i've tried to kill myself before and i went to the mental hospital for 6 months. it didnt do much, still felt like shit and it was up to myself to figure it out. it's been 2 years, i'm on meds, i have great friends, but i still feel sad. i think i'll always feel sad. i have so many plans for my future but there's one part of my brain that just wants to die. i see people say that attempting is for attention, and if you actually wanted to die you wouldn't tell anyone. i'm not looking for a reason to stay, i already have those. i'm just wondering why i have so much going for me yet i'm still collecting pills and i have enough to od.
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