I'm tired of feeling like I'm barely living. I'm rarely happy. I'm either stressed or mad at the world and myself. Or I'm just straight up miserable. I don't know how to be content anymore. I feel like my entire being ends and begins with whatever media I consume. I don't feel like a real person so I read until my eyes hurt and listen to music to drown out my problems. My parents are never satisfied with me no matter how much I change myself to suit their tastes. I'm never anyone's first choice, just a last resort. I wish I could wake up and just be. I'm afraid that no one loves me. That I'm just sitting here sacrificing my love and my time and my opportunities for a family that doesn't care. I'm afraid of living but I'm terrified of dying. I'm just here and I don't know how to make life worth something. I'm just tired.