I hate that I tend to lash out so easily. I don’t like when I do cause they don’t deserve it but with all that happens at home I can’t help it. Im beginning to hate living with my parents. He drinks, they argue and yet never separate. A constant cycle I’ve always been witness of. Fight and then act like nothing happens. Only now I find myself lashing out at both of them. I just get so overwhelmed and mad and can’t stop myself. I have no one to talk to about all this. I get worried when he starts saying things like ‘i’ll deal with you’ to my mom. But then i get worried that one day he’ll do something to himself. I feel guilty when I wish he’d just go away. She isn’t completely innocent either. She knows what she’s doing is wrong and yet tried to make me seem mad know that I know what she’s been doing. It drives me insane that I wish I never took notice of it. Why can’t it all just blow up and be done with? How much longer do I have to live here and walk on eggshells when things go wrong