I hate what my life has come to. These days its getting harder to want to continue on. My birthday is in a few days and I find myself thinking how desperately I wish it was my last. I’ve begun to resent my parents. A father who drinks whenever he gets a chance which now that he is currently unemployed seems to be almost everyday. He’s been that way since I was a child. It never occurred to me then but as I’ve grown I’ve come to realize how hard it must be for a preteen to witness a drunk father who can barely walk. I can’t even go out with my mom to family gatherings where we stay out late without wondering what he could be doing home, is he drinking, will he be calling our phones drunk and mad? What will he say once we get home? I wish they’d have just gotten divorced years and years ago. Or just not gotten married at all. I wish they’d never had me in the first place. I hate living this life where all I seem to do is realize how miserable I am.