Once at school I started hyperventilating from sobbing so hard because my thoughts were getting to me I felt like a failure that doesn't deserve life and I still do

I feel empty inside. I’ve been through so many hardships, and I don’t even know if it was supposed to happen now or not. I feel like I’ve become too strong for myself, to the point where I don’t feel anything anymore. I don’t know what to do with my life or what I have left to give. Since my mother passed away, I feel completely broken. Before that, I got married young, then divorced, and found myself alone in a country where I knew no one. While I was trying to heal, my mother got sick, and losing her made everything even harder. I thought being with someone would help, but I realize now I was just trying to forget.

I don’t think I’ll come back to this but school is actually ruining everything I’m sooo tired, I have a super important presentation tomorrow and I haven’t done shit, I leave everything for the last minute, I’m super indecisive about everything, and exams are coming soon and I’m lowknuinely tweaking out bro. And the worst part is that I am aware this is happening but I don’t do anything about it, I’m just done and my motivation is gone and I’m this 🤏 close to giving up and just rot in my bedroom forever