why is it that whenever i expect something, it turns to disappointment. i should get used to it by now but as an optimist i always try to be positive or else it always felt like i'd attract more negativity in my life. i cant really say im unfortunate because that would make me look like ungrateful, i have roof over my head and food on my table. its also so frustrating that im not good at anything, not favored by anyone, not even visually appealing. even in my studies, the major that ive been romantisizing, im failing. many of my batchmates have moved forward but im still stucked, i dont even think its worth it anymore. was it karma? have i done something so wrong that i didnt realize? and also, happy fucking birthday to me :) another year of this fuckass life.