i fucking h8 it here. im at my "bsf's" house and i feel so inadequate and unwanted here. on top of that, everytime im with friends,i dont ever feel like enough. like i dont feel feminine,& feel extremely masculine,while at the end of the day its easier to be a boy bcs i feel like it. but i so desperately want to be a girl & be femme and pretty. but i feel so fucking ugly and boyish. and i try so hard to be like my friends. carefree,comfortable in their skin,not trying too hard,femme,girly, etc. and i know envy is NAWTTT good. but i literally h8 everything abt myself rn. we're (as in my nd my bsf) arent even doing anything. shes been playing/talking w her other friends. and then she makes me feel so fucking stupid every time she says my name/mentions me or something abt me. i wanna go home where i can control my surroundings,and the way i feel right now. i wanna feel in control and not out of place where i feel unwanted.