My mom is slowly draining every life out of me, not phisically but mentally, im not allowed to see my friends, which im so glad to have any, im not allowed to do teenage stuff, i cant even look at my mother without almost tearing up, my friends sometimes cheer me up but they realized ill never be able to go out so slowly they gave up, i hate how everyone sees me for my actions and from who i dress as for my style everyone just judges, for my makeup also, i wanna be myself but i cant, i hate it. i feel like ill never be understood neither cared about, im useless, i barely shower or brush my teeth, yeah, disgusting right? i know.. i cant help it tho im unmotivated, i dont study im dumb everyone makes fun of me i want to take my life i just hate the thought of living a long life instead of ending it just as soon as i get the courage to, im tired, so tired