I want to. I want to actually understand, why I act the way I do. i see no reason for me to do so. I have no reason to make my right thigh and lower knee look like it was used for testing knives. I have not a single reason to feel depressed; I have no reason to convince myself to beg my parents to take me to a psychiatrist. I think too far into the future; one of the many things holding me back from a diagnosis is that my parents won't get a private doctor. So, I won't be able to pursue the job I am aiming for in life. Because I'm sure the army doesn't take mentally ill people. I want to have a reason for why I am suicidal. I want a reason for why I started cutting when I was 6. I want a reason to say that I'm not okay. I want to know why I am weak to the point that I vented and couldn't keep it in. Whatever to be honest, take care to everyone who found themselves here, and everyone who didn't...