I feel like I am constantly stressed the fuck out. Life is hard and has been hard for years. I almost want to blame my partner for it. I can't say it's all him, I've failed to stand up for myself as well. Shared blame and all, Ive been through hell. Our entire relationship has been laborious and has left me feeling like I do not have autonomy. I basically had a kid because we found out I was pregnant and he immediately told everyone while I was still in shock. I was too ashamed to get an abortion with everyone knowing. Then I was freshly post-partum I did not just get to be a mom, I suffered. I was so exhausted I was hallucinating. I was called home from work because he couldn't handle the newborn. When my kid was less than a year old, I had to leave my job because his kid was unable to attend public school and had to be homeschooled. That was my problem for two entire years. Once that ended, there wasn't peace. Now he's taken us on a trip we couldn't afford and got fired right after.