I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself so so so much because every summer my parents force me to go to china last school year in sixth grade I was actually above average in running I put in all that effort I ran every day I made running plans I ran with friends I was planning to join track and field in seventh grade and summer is going to be over in 30 days it's gonna be over in a month and I had my period earlier so I couldn't/wasn't allowed to run by my grandma for sixth days and I'm lazy and I'm stupid so I barely ran afterwards I am so, so stupid I'm almost 12, still eleven, youngest in my grade and everyone's better than me at something running was the only place where I felt safe and that's GONE because I was too stupid and lazy to actually practice for a week and a half and now I SUCK I couldn't run for a 12 km per hour pace for 5 minutes I suck I suck I suck so bad I hate myself I'm going to run till I DROP from now on because I'm stupid and I deserve the pain