*The only reason I haven't killed myself yet is because of a roblox fanfiction that's not done updating *I have no friends *Ive applied to over thirty jobs and I've only had one interview and two rejections. My parents don't think in really trying to get a job but I am * I think I might be autistic and also a lesbian *I'm worried about never being able to get a house or even be able to rent *I constantly wish something bad would happen to me so my parents will care about me *I sometimes have intrusive thoughts of hurting my family and it's enough to make me gag and almost throw up and make me sick to my stomach *My little brother is annoying as fuck and bites me even though hes almost 10 years old *my parents keep getting pets even though we don't have the time or money to properly take care of them. *my dad is rude as fuck and doesn't care about anyone but himself and my mom says she cares about us but she continues to stay and defend him Thats all I think for now