Why do I gotta be so damn selfish, stupid, and slow? Man, I hate how my voice sounds. The way my body formed. Why can't I be a cute chubby girl and not the "ugly, fat friend". Do my friends actually like me? Why does my family not like being around me. I can tell they only see me as an obligation. Why don't you spend time with me mom? Why does it feel like you're happiest with your friends and not us? Why does brother get all your love? It seems like you don't care if your boyfriends "accidentally" walk in on me when I'm using the shower. "He was tired." "He thought it was me in the shower, sweetie." Maybe it's because you're creepy to me too. Maybe not. Is it normal for your mother to adjust your bra cups and caress your flesh just to make sure it "stays". Or am I reading too much into it? Dad's not much better either. I think. We were snuggling and his hand slid down lower on my back, just above my butt. Or maybe I'm misremembering.