I feel so alone and I hate it. I have to suppress my feelings and fake being happy because of my job. This job takes up so much of my everyday life, meaning it's causing my emotions to build up. I have nowhere to go either, because all my relationships have withered over the past two years. I've learned a lot of the people I cared about, cared about me very little. The relationships I poured my heart into for years, meant nothing to them. All it did was reveal how unlikeable I am to people no matter how hard I try. I still want to try, but I'm terrified of people leaving me because I feel so broken. How do I develop friendships when I'm a mess? Maybe it would be easier if I just focused on my hobbies as an outlet for my feelings. The only issue is, I'm poor right now. My hobbies are expensive, so maybe I just need to toughen up and push through the next 6-12 months so I can eventually have an outlet for my feelings...