I can't stop relapsing. 6 years clean from cutting myself has gone down the drain. I just.. I take comfort in the aftercare of cleaning and bandaging myself up after slicing at my limbs for a little while. Because it's just me. I am the knife and the nurse and only I am here to take care of myself without having to hear the opinions or scolding of others. I don't feel as ashamed as I probably should..