I don't want life to be just this. I live in an abusive home and it's so suffocating. But it's so hard to climb out. I have no friends and no relatives who aren't just as bad I can run to. I haven't been able to leave the house in 8 years but the state refused to remove me from the home as they decided it wasn't "severe enough". I've been job hunting ever since I was old enough to have one just for a chance to do anything at all with myself and haven't landed a single thing. Will I be stuck here forever? Is this all there is? I think I'll die before 21 or before I really see the world. I think I'll die the second I'm thrown into it without any knowledge of what I'm meant to do. I don't even want anything anymore. I don't think I'm meant for anything. What a waste! What a waste. If I wasn't such a coward I think I'd be gone.