I cant sleep and ive been leftvalone with my thoughts too long. Im so nervous for my future. Im starting my junior year when I should be a senior. My mom is disappointed in me and is trying to make up for my year by putting me in high stuff and not wanting to get below a 90 on any of my classes. She wants me to join clubs and keep doing stupid scout when I dont want to. None of that sounds enjoyable to me. I just want to be with my friends and bf and learn how to drive. I wanna cut myself so much. I promised my bf I would cause he dealt with a lot of people taking their lives but its so hard for me. All I want to do rn is cut my forearms and sleep. Im even more scared of me wanting to do it during school. And next summer I have to do English 4 online and she wants me to do 2 camps. Im so stressed and I hate talking to her about it. She makes me feel so stupid and like my opinion doesnt matter. She is gonna get mad at me cause im gonna sleep in cause I cant sleep.