I don't really know what to say but I've been struggling so much and it's only been getting worse. I'm trying so hard to just live but all I get is backlash and anger from my mom. I'm a complete lost cause and I don't know what to do. I've tried to kill myself multiple times in the past but I've always failed. I'm tired of living in a world of anguish and unfairness. It's so sad I hate it. I don't want help. I refuse to get better. I will keep getting worse until I die. I thought things would get better when im older but it really doesn't, it just gets harder. And I'm not even an adult yet. I'm so tired of living I really can't take it anymore. I was thinking of killing myself tonight or going missing, or both I don't know. I never really understand why I do things like this. I'm always stressing everyone out and I hate it. I wish everyone lived happy lives but thats nothing more than a fantasy. I never really lived in the real world anyway, I'm stuck dreaming. I don't want it to end.