I'm genuinely so fucked. I feel like I'm viewing my own life like its a movie or something. Like I'm in another plane of existence or something. The only way i can get myself to feel present in the moment is when i feel pain. I want to hurt myself so bad because I'm so miserable. I can barely get myself out of bed to take care of myself each day. I don't feel any drive or passion for anything anymore, I'm 18 and I don't look forward to my future working at a shitty job for the rest of my life. I would kill myself if i wasn't so scared of what'll happened after death. I don't know anymore. The only person I really care about now is my mom and brother and sometimes they even tell me how they're sick and tired of living. I just want to fix whats wrong with me I'm so tired.