I don't believe in God. Yet I do everything for the thought of it. Mostly for my family. People tell me I have a great testimony. They tell me they hear it when I play the piano. I only play my feelings of frustration and confusion for the religion. Maybe I don't want there to be a God. It would be much easier that way, right? No worries about someone judging and criticizing. No fear of what comes after life. I honestly think nothing sounds peaceful. I don't want eternity. I don't see the point. And my heart aches because of it. I'm sorry, Mom. I'm sorry, Dad. I don't pray anymore. I don't study the scriptures. When I move out in a month, I don't even plan on attending church.
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