I just feel incredibly weighed down. I'm genuinely the punching bag of my family. Every fight is traced down to something I did. I'm yelled at consistently and guilted into feeling bad for making them yell at me. Doesn't help that I'm incredibly insecure as well. Also the fact that even though I'm friends with such wonderful people, none of them know how much I'm going through because I just can't find myself to go up to somebody just to ruin the mood. I feel like I've never gotten anything I've actually wished for. I feel truly worthless. My friend who has everything I could ever wish for is still unhappy with her life so can you imagine how I feel. I hate feeling so sad and then acting all jolly with people the next day. Makes me feel like my feelings are disregarded by my own self.