I just can’t take it much longer. I’ve been on meds, switched meds, endlessly needing to increase my dose because the bad thoughts keep coming back. I want to tell them my plan, but if I do then I won’t have the escape option. I’m so tired. I want to hurt myself. Every night I think about ways of amputating my leg, and damaging my body. A car wreck. I want to set myself on fire. I want my long hair to burn away until I’m a shattered vessel of what I am. I don’t want to use my voice any more. It would be so easy. So easy to ruin my life in an instant. But in doing so would be ruining the lives of those who care about me. It’s useless. Yet I feel so trapped where I am. I’m tired. I can’t keep this up. It will all end sooner than expected.
health1 felt this