I don't get much attention from anyone so I often have to initiate conversation. I struggle to talk to women, however, because I am a loser. I just wish I was desirable enough for people to reach out to me. I wish I could be confident in myself. I hate being an ugly fat kid with no future. I can't provide anything to anyone expect occasion comic relief. I'm awkward to talk to and all of my hobbies are nerdy computer stuff. Worst of all are my twisted and disgusting desires. I really can't even admit what happened or people won't feel safe even venting here. That's how bad it is. It's not like I did anything, but I thought about it and that's what matters. I don't blame anyone for not wanting to interact with me. I don't even want to interact with myself. I'm such a loser chud. The only reason I haven't kms is because there's still a chance that I'll get better. Despite everything, I still try to be hopeful.