Im so lonely. I try hard to connect with people but i get treated horribly. I want someone to love me forever and to keep me company forever. I sleep as much as i can i don't like being awake. Sleep when im not at college or working or chores. Been called a useless fucking stupid bitch over and over since i was 4 to now. And he said that i would end up alone and he's right. Been SA'd in such a weird way. Theyd grope me and talk about raping me in diff ways then laugh about how disgusting the idea is because they found me disgusting. I was age 12 to 16, they were in all my classes. Im not ugly, not that that would justify it at all. I think it's my autism. I know a lot of autistic people who have big friend groups and go drinking in pubs/bars. I feel pathetic in comparison. I feel too mentally old or young. People like me cuz im funny but get bored when im not constantly trying to make them laugh. Even writing this im worried youll blame me cuz i can't explain everything ive tried