I do feel G-d on my side, as I lay in green pastures I do feel His goodness...... but the pressures of this world press on me and I cry... I am afraid of pain... and I feel levels of disappointment in myself and frustration with how I allow things to be, does this mean I lack faith.... I don't know it's a mixture such a mixture of the peace of being held by G-d and the frustration pain tears fears disappointments misunderstandings and betrayals of this world..... sometimes it does feel like I'm unstable even though from the outside looking in I have it all together