i've been eating less because i'm really scared to gain weight. i dropped 30kgs in 1 year and i can't stop. i don't really want to stop. i was so delusional thinking that i was skinny when I was actually fat. i'm scared that i'll be like that again, so i just can't stop restricting myself. and I fucking hate when people try to force me to eat, or expose the fact that i'm not eating. hearing other peoples weights makes me so jealous, and i know that it's bad but i wish i was underweight, like 40kgs or something. I just always see myself as big no matter where i am, what i'm wearing, who i'm with.