I can only parrot back what I hear and experience but it seems to me that under populist feudalism, all the teachers first responders volunteers and general altruists want you to know what a slow, nightmarish road to invasive humiliation punishment and ostracism they are trapped/roped into.

I feel like im autistic and that might the reason I am the way I am. I am sometimes an airhead and very sensitive to point where the smallest things could bring me to tears. And I always get shit for crying over things and I try to tell people that I'm doing the best I can to control it, but they still ask when it happens again. I say a lot of stupid shit and I have to deal with genuine assholes and bullies every so often and I just want to crash out at them, but I know it wont help. I would tell an adult but that wouldn't do anything either. I just want people to treat me like a normal person and not the 'weird one' or anything like that. I dont want to be highly sensitive and i dont understand why im even like that. I cant even take part in a friendly debate because I'll get so heated that I'll start tearing up.

Ever since it happened, i feel his hands on my legs. I know there not there. im not stupid. I didnt fight. i froze. But i didnt want it. of course i didnt. he was, no IS my mothers boyfriend. i just want to feel like myself again. please.