I carry around a ton of guilt and worry about a lot of things I wish I didn't worry abt like what I eat, when to exercise, I worry about what I need but I never know what I need even though I'm very healthy and don't even need to worry about these things at this age. I hate the way my face looks, I look depressed and just ugly and I hate my stupid smile lines and I hate how small my head is and how wide my shoulders are. I'm always so upset about everything and idk if it's hormones or whatever, but im getting to a point of being suicidal and just wanting to get the fuck out of here, I hate being so negative and I've looked on the spiritual side of things and tried manifestation, I actually did a water spell a few days ago and after that I felt WAY worse than I did. I always feel like crying and imagining slitting my wrists and dying. I feel so fucking depressed and I can't talk to anyone about it because my mom says she doesn't know what to do and that I'm always mad and im always sad.