I hate that I open up to people. It's done me wrong in the past so many times. whenever I wanted to open up about something they always told. I understand that what I just told you was a lot but it does not mean you can tell the whole world my secrets. I feel absolutely terrible I ghosted a friend Ive known for four years because they always did something that was triggering for me and I had asked politely if they would stop and then they did for like a day. Then it would happen again and again until I couldn't take it anymore and cut them off. Just to realize I would be forced to play sports with her everyday and neither of us had mentioned anything and it feels so awkward and I hate it so much. The friends who do notice I have been acting different always ask me what's wrong and you can tell me anything, but from past experiences I physically cant. I feel like something is wrong with me. I feel sick lying to my close friends all the time knowing damn well everything isn't fine at all