i hate that i'm trans. i hate that people let 10-second videos posing a "what if" like it's a fact form their view of an entire group of people they don't even talk to. i hate that me being a boy is an increasingly undeniable fact when i've hated men more than anything for my entire life. i WISH it was a choice and i WISH it was an attention grab like people who can't relate say it is. i hate being happy with my transition and watching my arms get bigger etc only to share an earth and one more thing in common with catcallers. i want to live as a man (gender) but i don't want to be a man (societal implications). i want to be nice and safe and considerate and expressive and pretty And Also, Happen to have my gender be male, and for that to be normal and okay. even if it wasn't i wish i would stop fucking overthinking it and internalizing what everyone else says about it while they're still learning to understand it.