it seemed like there wasn't a thing that would bother him enough to leave me alone. i'm so glad i got out. i was so fucking miserable all the time whenever he was around. and he was so controlling, i couldnt do anything without him. he used to wait until i fell asleep to look through my phone to find things to blame me about so he could get free pass to rape me again. he was so fucking sick. now i see how everything built up so badly until it got to this point. and it was always because of him. it was not my fault. it was never my fault. i hate him. i hope he rots in hell. i wish he was dead, but instead i see him sometimes in halls and i feel like throwing up. but instead i just pretend i didnt see him and i dont let him get into my head. i had panic attacks before just for seeing him to the point i was scared of leaving home. so absurd. i wish he was fucking dead.