it sucks to remember. sometimes im just living my life and the memories come, invading my mind like a fucking disease. i remember how extremely painful and humiliating it was every time i was raped by my ex boyfriend. he was manipulative to the point i thought it was my fault that he developed his violent ways to cope with his feelings. sometimes i think about charging him but deep down i know it wouldnt change a thing. i'm just tired to carry on these memories even though it was a long time ago now. luckily, i have no reason to feel afraid anymore. i'm safe from him, but i'm not safe from the scars that he left in my soul. he penetrated me until i cried and begged him to stop, while he would get off even more seeing me suffer. he would ask me to cry quieter so he could ejaculate. he would always finish off inside of me even when i didnt really want him to. which was every fucking time. i was so broken by all of this. i feel sad remembering it all.