i think that haldol would help me, but i'm afraid i'm going to be put on some bullshit first. i have high insight schizoaffective disorder depressive type and have never been put on antipsychotics because they would worsen my qol. i'm not a danger to myself or others but persecutory delusions are so miserable and make me want to kill myself (not actually going to any time soon). local iop and php options are just dbt which is useless for me. talk therapy strategies are bullshit like "visualize your thoughts as clouds" that don't work for me when i'm agitated. going to law school next semester and all the mental health strategies are for people without severe mental illness. i wish i knew other people with schizophrenia spectrum conditions in my field.