i think i will kill myself. ive heard people describe the world as gray before but i guess i didnt understand what it meant. nothing that i do brings me joy, im bored with it all. i lost all my friends, havent had a girlfriend in 4 years, have no money to go to college, dead end job, and im a weird looking guy and have very bad social anxiety so i dont go out in public anymore. i never really imagined my life would come to this but it has pretty much decayed before my eyes. even if i had everything i wanted, i dont think id be happy. i think some people are meant to suffer.
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