Dude I hate myself I do nothing in this world I’m a waste of space I worry people I wanna kms so bad I self harm nothing in my life is good I need to self harm to feel good sometimes

i started a project for my clg its for a so called course... i choose a project called straycare.. where my idea was to save stray animals which are injured and may be alive if they were treated at right time... i worked really hard but my sir likes all the other ideas but not this... they will be selecting 240 members and then 100 and then 25... i feell i wont be selected in the bootcamp...why does these happen to me everytime...i feeel so tired of my life...everything i start to do... i fail.... i am just so sick of life...

I feel so damn tired. Everything feels so much heavier. I don't know if I'll ever make it out alive. I have no life. I'm a very boring person, no social life, skills and talent. I wish I could go through a week let alone a day where I don't say I wanna die. I look at people and realize that I'm very different, that I don't fit in in this world. I just hate it and I'd cry everytime I think about it. I make a mess for everyone to deal with and I'm just a pain to all the people that I've met or been with. School is so hard, I'm a loner with nobody but myself, and I just can't bear the pressure and stress. Whenever I think about the future I'm paralyzed with fear and overwhelming dread because even now I'm struggling to even survive all of this. This life doesn't seem to be worth living, but I have to go on no matter what. Even if I'm holding onto a thread I need to survive.