I genuinely do not know how I could've supported you out of pity for everything you had done to me mom, it's been two years already and even if I know you're still alive lurking somewhere I'm still fucking scared if you suddenly came back. The gnawing hypocrisy lying within you trying to protect me from others when you ended up abusing me? Touching me? Sexualizing me and near off trying to fucking sell me. I feel completely drained now. You've used me and I barely reached my twenties. Why am I not mad and sad enough for what you have done to me? Why do you disgust me so much? Why did you had to disguise yourself as the victim and make me feel bad? I feel dirty soo dirty. I can't stand to look at you anymore. Court day is soon and you'll yet try to play as the victim without even seeing what you have done. I'll never know what it will feel like to have a loving mother. My kids will probably never have a loving Grandma. You fucked up. "Mom."

i need advice bc i want to break up w my boyfriend but at the same time i cant, but im in love with someone else and it doesnt feel fair on him.

ive been crushing on my best friend and i told them about 5 months ago and everything was fine and nothing changed. but more recently theyve been expressing the fact that they want to be in a relationship and it makes me feel a bit jealous. they also think that i dont want to date them because im aroace. im pretty sure they dont like me like that, but havent confirmed or denied because they havent reciprocated but havent rejected me either. and a few nights ago i had a dream where they laid on my shoulder and told me to do anything i wanted and i gave them a tight hug and expressed my feelings for them again and they accepted, and i wish it was real, and the day after i told a friend that i was gay in joking manner and he said he already knew and assumed that me and my best friend were dating, and i told him he doesnt like me like that and when i said it, it kinda broke my heart. idk what to do now, i kinda just want advice