I just underwent a Pap smear the other day and the entire experience just reinforced my life long aversion to sex. I am a virgin. I have no previous frame of reference to sexual intimacy or any experience with it for that matter, I have always refused those who have tried to bed me. Growing up I was always made aware of the fact that the procedure hurts, I was also always informed that your first sexual experience is also painful. the female reproductive system has always been spoken to me through a lense of biological agony therefore the more I grew the more I simply developed a completely warped and ultimately negative perspective of the vagina. To this day I still believe that my uterus will bring me nothing but suffering. This experience but the final nail on this coffin for if getting stretched out by a mere speculum was nothing short of painful every step of the way, Surely sex will also be just agony, As I have always been told. I don’t plan to ever find out.