When I’m jerking off sometimes I feel like I’m that one transmasc incel oc drawn by Lacryboy, where he’s gooning to an anime girl in his dirty room with his dirty socks, that feels like me and it makes me sad. Aaaaand I have fucked up sexuality/ kinks because of the fact that I have been abused for more than 50% of the time during the short time that I am alive. I cant even get a diagnosis or anything bc I’m from a third world country and Im living in a first world country with a visa. I feel like I don’t deserve to be alive or treated bc of a nationality I didn’t chose for, I never had “teenage years” bc I forgot all about them due to trauma, and now I can’t get hard without discrimination and humiliation. I have more memories of me being a toddler than me being a teenager, I have been suicidal since I was 7.