I feel ashamed of the fact that, despite knowing I have friends that love me, I irrationally feel like they all hate me and that I should bottle everything up and just kill myself. I think I know there’s people who are there for me, but for some reason I just can’t be happy. I feel isolated, lonely, and burnt-out. I mean, I’m a composer and my once fiery passion is nothing but a mere, lowly ember now. I can’t bring myself to make anything. Christ, I almost killed myself and chickened out of pulling the trigger. I just want to be happy.
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