why is admitting im a lesbian so disgusting? everytime i get a rumor made about me being a lesbian, somebody asks me if i am, or anything about the fact people assume or ask if im lesbian everything in me just stops. i feel so disgusted in myself. a few months ago i had a really confusing talking stage with a girl i liked. i was in love with her for almost a year, she told me she loved me and that we should talk more but it hurt so badly when i saw the way she looked at him. i then realized something. im taking away so many opportunities from her if we got together. she could never have biological kids with me. i couldnt take that away from her, especially not when she looks at a boy like that. why couldnt she look at me like that? why did it have to be him. if i was a boy would she have looked at me the same way she did to him? its disgusting. i wish this wasnt my reality. i get chills at the thought of telling anybody. its nasty. not others but myself. its only disgusting when im gay